


Come in the Name of Jesus, Amen

by annabeth



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Blasphemous, Jjbek, M/M, Mania, Smut, Underage Sex, bipolar JJ, cracky angst (how is that even possible idk)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 13:12:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12277170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth/pseuds/annabeth
Summary: "I just got the best news of my life!" JJ says, careening into the bedroom and catching himself from falling by crashing into Otabek.





	Come in the Name of Jesus, Amen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blownwish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blownwish/gifts), [shadesofhades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesofhades/gifts).



> So, [Blownwish](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Blownwish) and I had this conversation over Tumblr about a particular religious song I listened to today, and this was born. I don't wanna give too much away, but there's a line in here that's almost directly from Blownwish, I hope she doesn't mind ♥
> 
> I'm going to Hell.
> 
> (Also gifting this to Jen. She knows why.)

"I just got the best news of my life!" JJ says, careening into the bedroom and catching himself from falling by crashing into Otabek. Otabek's arms come up and around to steady him, just like JJ knew they would. He ducks his head down to press his sweaty forehead against Otabek's bare shoulder. Beks is wearing a thin, soft cotton t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off. JJ has never found him more beautiful, but he knows that Beks gets more and more gorgeous in his eyes every time he stops for even a second to really take him in.

"What is it, Jean?" Beks asks in his soft, careful voice. That's another thing he loves about Beks! No matter how excited JJ gets, Beks is even-keeled. It's refreshing. His other rink mates and so called "friends" used to mock him when he got excited.

"I got a new sponsorship!" JJ cries. "It's enough money to help Maman and Papa take care of the little ones. Ever since Maman got pregnant again, Papa has been worried, and billeting you for skating hasn't been easy—wait, I'm sorry!" JJ presses his nose harder into Beks's shoulder.

"Try to calm down," Beks says, his hand brushing against the shaved part of JJ's undercut. They got them together—him and Beks, like best friends! "I'm not offended, Jean."

"I didn't mean it that way anyway; of course your parents paid a coaching fee and it helps, but this new sponsorship—" JJ can't even catch his breath he's talking so fast. He knows he's talking too fast, but Beks never tells him to slow down. Not the way everyone else does.

"Gosh, I love you, Beks," JJ says, whipping his head up and turning towards Otabek. He plasters his lips to Otabek's, and Beks sighs against his mouth before pushing him back.

"We have practice in ten minutes," Beks reminds him gently. "Deep breaths, Jean. It's gonna be okay."

But why does he need to be told that?

"Everything's great, Beks!" he yells, letting go of him and twirling around the room, pirouettes that are leftover from ballet classes when he was younger. "I'm gonna market my JJ style on a grand stage, you watch, Beks. I'll be _amazing_ and the money will flood in and Maman won't worry about the new baby anymore and Papa won't be upset with me for not practicing hard enough and my little brothers and sisters won't fight each other over food and… and…" he stops to breathe. He's lightheaded.

He drops to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut, suddenly exhausted. Beks gets down on one knee next to him and shoves his hair out of his eyes.

"Did you take them this morning, Jean?" he asks quietly. JJ dons his most guileless smile.

"Of course I did," he says, but it's a lie. The medicine makes him feel sluggish, like his brain has been weighted down with stones instead of floating like a balloon, that glorious high he gets, the one that helps him figure out what jumps he wants, what choreography to use, how to talk to his Papa so that his JJ style is perfect.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Jean?" Beks asks, and he's probing JJ's eyes with his own razor sharp gaze. "I don't like it when you lie."

"It's a sin to lie," JJ responds, grinning up at him. "I'm no sinner."

"You kissed me five minutes ago," Beks reminds him. "I thought your Bible says no relations between men."

"No, see, it's okay. The Bible was constantly being copied over by monks, right? And they used to add notes in the margins, and clarify things, and sometimes they would add their own bias, so you see, it's really okay, because I don't think that part is real. So I can kiss you. And I could—Beks, do you not want me? Please say you want me. I love you so much, I need you so much, I have to have—" he catches his breath again, and there's honey glimmering in those deep brown eyes. A lightness that makes his head feel even lighter. "I knew it! You love me back, don't you, Beks? Go tell my papa that I'm not feeling well, my ankle twinged or something, and you wanna stay and keep an eye on me, and then—"

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

JJ has to swallow around rocks in his throat to get the word out, but he manages.

"Don't you want to f-fuck me, Beks? I want to. I mean, to you. I mean I want to… you know, with you. Please? I'll wait right here. Well, maybe I'll get in the bed first. Do you want me to take everything off? Or just my shirt and pants? I'm so excited, Beks, about this new sponsorship, I absolutely need— I think I could come like a firecracker. You kissed me before. I remember. I wasn't all the way asleep yet. I thought you liked me. You do like me, don't you? Do you love me, Beks?"

"I'll come right back," Beks says, and hauls JJ to his feet. "You can do what you want. We'll see how it goes."

As soon as Otabek leaves the room, JJ is a flurry of activity, ripping his JJ style shirt over his head and tearing his track pants off. He runs over to his full-length mirror, examining his body, frowning at the huge bruise on his ribs where he fell trying to land a quad sal. He's never had so much trouble with it as he did yesterday, but it's okay, Otabek is likely to have similar bruises—he sucks in his stomach, but that's stupid, right? He's an athlete, his abs are firm even if it's not a perfect six-pack, and his biceps aren't quite as big as Otabek's, but he thinks Otabek is just naturally of a stockier build, even though he's younger and shorter…

After another moment of heated indecision, JJ rolls his briefs down, kicking them off. His cock is nice, right? Will Beks like it? Will Beks like _him_? Will he even enjoy it—crap, JJ didn't even consider that. What if Beks never messed around with a boy before? JJ has, because doesn't everyone—? And besides, Izzy won't do anything before marriage, and JJ understands he can't have intercourse with a girl before he marries her—Izzy, of course—but this totally doesn't count. He thinks.

By the time Beks gets back to JJ's bedroom, that he's been sharing with JJ for months now, JJ is lying back on the bed, trying to figure out what to do with his arms and legs. Cross his feet at the ankles? Spread them? Put his hands by his sides…?

"Jean," Beks says in a whip-crack tone. It gets him to stop fidgeting and stare up at Beks. "Just… relax. You don't have to be perfect."

"I do—"

"No. I don't care, Jean. I like you for you."

"Do you _really_?" JJ feels his brain stutter to a stop. All thoughts come to a standstill and he's just staring at Beks, who very calmly and quietly removes his jeans, then his t-shirt.

"You gonna freak out if I take my boxers off?" Beks asks. His eyes are glittering. JJ gulps and glances down, so quickly, then back up to Beks's face. But even that incredibly brief look is enough to know that Beks is getting hard.

"Is that for me? Beks, are you hard because of me? Do you think I'm hot? I think I'm—I mean, _I_ don't think I'm hot, like that, but I always thought I was kind of nice to look at, and I mean, shoot, my dick—my dick is getting hard too, for you, Beks, always for you; I fall asleep at night and I dream, and when I wake up, my morning wood is like, twice as achy as usual, and it's because you're so damn hot, and I'm not supposed to curse—I forgot—do you mind? And—"

" _Jean_. Shh. I'm gonna take my underwear off. Then I'm gonna get in bed with you. And you're just gonna be quiet, okay? No rambling."

JJ nods so hard he thinks his head might roll off his neck. He can't stop himself from moving his gaze down, like a laser, onto Beks's groin as he pushes his underwear down. His dick pops out of the waistband and bobs against his belly, and it's… bigger than JJ expected. He's not sure _what_ he expected, actually, but somehow the beauty of Beks naked takes his breath away, and causes his thoughts to turn to molasses again. It seems like maybe being quiet won't be so difficult.

By the time Beks climbs onto the bed, JJ is bursting to say something, but he wants to make Beks happy, to keep him there, so he doesn't leave—not like everyone else—so he literally bites his tongue to keep words behind his teeth.

The warm hand on his hip makes him gasp. The slow, measured movement sideways until Beks is lightly resting his palm over JJ's hard-on makes him whimper. When Beks curls his fingers around it just a little, JJ moans and then bites his lip this time.

"You can be noisy," Beks tells him, "just don't talk so much." His fingers encircle his dick completely and—oh, _mercy_ , it's never felt like _this_ before! It's too much, JJ's already too close and Beks has barely touched him…

Fumbling, like his hands don't even belong to him, he gets his grasp on that beautiful, flushed perfect cock, and Beks inhales rapidly, pushing against JJ's palm. They start to move their hands slowly, and it seems impossible, but before too long the rhythm echoes JJ's heartbeat and matches Beks's rhythm in perfect harmony.

When Beks speeds up his hand, JJ cries out a little, and he can feel his balls tight against his body, and his dick swells, and Beks slows his ministrations. He strokes gently, thumb passing over the head of JJ's cock and rubbing precome into it, and JJ opens his mouth—

Beks cuts off the flood of words with a kiss, open-mouthed, tongue soft against the soft tissue of JJ's mouth.

When he lets JJ breathe, JJ's eyes are wide and his body is balanced on a tightrope wire, and he's not sure which side he's gonna fall down on. Will it be the right side? Or will the shame of knowing what his papa would think—no, he's not gonna think about that—

"W-wait!" he yelps, and Beks stops his hand altogether. "Before we come… Beks, God gave us this precious gift, the ability to orgasm, and you… you'll thank him for it when you do, right?"

All he gets in reply is a raised eyebrow. JJ pulls his hand back.

"Do it," he says, "I'll show you. I'll show you what to say. For me? Please? You'll say it for me, won't you? Because I don't wanna make Jesus angry?"

Beks shakes his head, but he smiles—just barely a twitch of the lips—and his hand speeds up again.

Just as JJ is going to lose it, his body straining, and he's—shit, he's _there_ , past the point of no return, no amount of edging could keep him from coming, and he opens his mouth and it comes out in a gasped whisper:

"Praise Jesus, we are only allowed to come in his name—" jizz floats on the air and lands with a wet sound against his bare belly.

Unfortunately, Beks isn't coming too. He's just staring, wide-eyed, at JJ.

"Seriously, Jean?" he asks, and JJ shrugs sheepishly.

"One of the altar boys taught me," he explains uneasily. "Are you gonna come, too?" he asks, but Beks carefully removes JJ's hand and rolls to the side, flat on his back on the bed.

"We need to work on your dirty talk," Beks says in a slightly breathless tone.

"I can't dirty talk, Beks! I'm Catholic!"

"You didn't take your pills today," Beks says evenly. "You lied."

"Don't be angry—"

"It's for your own good," Beks tells him, turning his head to meet JJ's eyes. "Don't you even hear yourself?"

JJ spreads the come around on his belly. It's still warm.

"I love you, Beks—"

"Listen, Jean, I like you a lot. I really do. But I don't love you. Not y—"

But all JJ hears is _I don't love you_. He scrambles off the bed, tears suddenly running down his cheeks, practically screaming as he says,

"Get out! Get out, get out, out out out!"

Otabek grabs a robe and leaves the room.

JJ collapses to the floor and cries; it feels like he's dying. Without Beks…

Yeah, he's gonna die without Beks. But he can't—no, he can't be around him anymore. He's going to tell his Maman to send Otabek away, that he doesn't belong in their training program anymore.

Decision made, he allows himself to fall bonelessly to the side, landing on his face hard enough to hurt, and he doesn't know how long he lies there and cries. Just that it hurts so fucking bad.

end.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me (helm-puppet-trash) on [Tumblr](helm-puppet-trash.tumblr.com)!


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